I Am a Woman For You
I had a dream about you
We were walking down the street
As we always did,
As we always do,
In my memories of you.
We were friends,
Once friends,
And you spoke to me
About your body
With self-deprecating cruelty.
Sharp my lungs
As I faced you
Pulled you
Into me so close
By the latch of your jeans
To prove a point of what I mean.
My hand began to reach up your shirt
You squirmed and became instantly alert
As my other hand
Wrapped around your neck.
Almost uncomfortable
Almost too comfortable.
I positioned my lips
A hairline away from your burning ear.
Burning to hear
Burning to be near.
As I spoke with conviction
Without any contradiction
And with a soft, feminine tone
That only increased the friction,
In the air, and simply everywhere.
“You are
Tirelessly,
Completely,
And unrelentingly
Desired.”
My hand drawing paths
Down your back.
Impatient to tour your hip
And as I turn my fair face
With my hair slightly out of place
And yours…
I continued,
“Everything about you,
From your hands,
To your heat,
Your chest,
Your smell, this skin,
And your mouth
Remind me that I am a woman.”
Waking up,
From this long-remembered dream
With peace in my bloodstream
Power in my pulse
And trembling my legs
Oh, to be a woman.
Tag: Desire
You Are So Divine

You Are So Divine
When the air around me turns to velvet
And all the noise escapes from the room,
I appear in a world of somewhere else
A heaven, a galaxy of nature’s womb.
The opacity drops a little more
A film developing with nostalgic-vignette,
And your eyes, your eyes,
Burn me and burn me until I sweat.
Each inhale effortlessly invoked
Every molecule a chemical reaction,
My deity, my daily,
Consumed by immortal attraction.
You are my remembered forever
You are the holder of an unforgettable heart,
My love will leave from you never,
And in that, we create the most spectacular art.
I Will Wait
I Will Wait
The days without you aren’t the same.
Quiet echos louder without your music
My voice doesn’t ring the same tone
And the light sits lower on the walls.
How do I guide you home?
My words haven’t worked
And my lips fall off track.
I want your real love.
Waiting has never been my strong suit
But your skin.
The spot right alongside your hip
My fingers were there
And I heard your deep moan into my neck.
I wriggle and re-position my hips,
As I remember your pulse underneath me,
Nearly inside me
As your fingers explored the source of my warmth.
But why only once?
When my ears hear the blood in my heart
I know it’s you in my veins.
My impatient body is selfish
But I don’t blame my primal desire
You are
Just too great.
So I will sit,
I will walk
I will eat
I will sleep.
And something will bring you to me.
Some word, some song, some fairy tale
Will remind you and guide you
And I will be ready.
With all my human and inhuman thirsts.
With all my readiness to love you.
But today just isn’t the same, without you.
The Gift

No need for expectations
Or timelines
Impatience or needs.
All your needs are met.
She sees to them as a gift-giver.
She gives the gift of life,
The gift of joy,
The gift of awakening,
And the gift of love.
It’s not patience you are lacking
It’s trust.
Trust her.
Her divine selflessness,
Her ability to know you
And your deeper dreams,
The ones you haven’t told
The ones you keep close.
Trust she hears you and
Trust she cares enough.
Lower your shoulders
Release your jaw
And feel her comforting pulse.
That beating in your chest
It’s her knocking at your door.
She’s ready to gift you.
She’s been waiting for you to answer
And where have you been?
There is no fear here.
She may have pain,
She may share agony
But beneath that Pandora’s box
There lies what you seek.
What you’ve always been seeking.
Freedom.
That soul-shaking connection
A love that vibrates inner knowing
And multidimensional, unconditional, unrestrained, limitless and great
love.
Take off your clothes
Walk to her naked
Open the door, open your light
And receive her.
She is gifting you now.
Press Play
Press Play
You’re a slideshow.
A breathing VHS
That flickers and flits through still images
Until I see you clearly.
The time you said you were home
Red hues painted on your face
Avocado-stained fingers
Sitting cross-legged on my rug.
The movie skips back,
Further yet,
Standing in a field, dowsed in moonlight
So close.
Mist leaving a dewy cold on my neck
And further back it rewinds
To that time
When I handed you a poem
Nestled in our very own sandcastle.
Rapidly skipping with quick glimpses
Of little glances
In a car at 1am.
Simple touches after nightmares
On a couch at 3am
And a handshake that turned into…
Hearts beating so loud it startles the trees,
And visions of making love
And you kissing me.
Please, press play.
I tell myself to stop rewinding
But it fast forwards instead
A garden with a toddler playing
A kindhearted mother and a hospital bed
And nose nuzzles with a little baby girl.
I hear her name.
The frame
Regains integrity
With clarity
I see you.
We will have love like no other,
We will play in pillow forts
And songs and words, poems and paintings
Will fill the walls
And the halls
And it all
Smells of sunshine.
I watch this every day.
Feeling a hand on my neck
Another wrapped around my waist
I close my eyes and
Dissolve into my favorite place.
Only for a minute.
Only for today.
Just knowing this exists is enough.
It’s enough, if it needs to be.
But if you want to watch this movie with me,
If you share in this daydream
Sit, shake my hand
Press play and let’s see.
Silent in Love
Silent in Love
How do you do that?
I’m sitting alone, but
There you are.
Your hands are touching my back.
Your tongue is in my mouth
And it has been too long since I’ve
Felt such warmth.
Do you feel this?
And this?
No more words now.
My Candle Burns For You
My Candle Burns For You
Weeks go by,
Months even
My affections remain the same.
I stare at my candle
Unlit, blackened tip
Remembering our night
Under the stars
Under the flickering ceiling,
Under cover.
Silence, on a carpet
Silence, on a road
Silence, on the sand
Silence, on each other.
Wild and free
I am your home
As you are to me.
Delicate music
Plays in my ears
As I read you.
How is your day?
Come with me
Come with me tonight
Hold my hand
Again, and again, and again.
There you are.
I know your smell.
I saw you naked this morning,
Your skin is colder than mine
It’s okay though, it’s just fine.
Nothing will diminish
Your great beauty.
You call to me
Elementally, essentially
Taste the wild inside me.
My beloved garden.
My river of fireflies.
Write me, run with me
I am a woman,
Press your cheek against God’s
As you study my biology.
Meet me in the medial nature
As the man.
Search my skin
Break the rules
Prescient and visceral
Your tongue knows
My first language.
Thank you,
My binary star
And the infinite
Light that guided us home.
I place the unlit candle back.
Safe inside my drawer
For a later time
When I talk to you,
Once more.
A Tale of Two Lovers
A Tale of Two Lovers
There is a profound sadness in her.
Bathed in responsibility
And graceful with acceptance.
Passersby can’t even see her hiding
That sweet, calm smile,
Selflessness worn like a familiar sweater.
Worthiness a tattoo written backwards on her shoulder
A silent reminder.
But not many, only a one,
Can see the poor girls heart.
The one that sings louder in cars
Or alone with her pillow.
Or in a bathroom with the water running.
Her prayers hang on the wind
Sorrowfully tussling the leaves.
…
“May he find that love.
One that is patient in silence, like mine.
May she kiss his lip when he bites it.
And may he hold her hand long enough to split realms.
I hope her body effortlessly tangles into his
At night, with the candlelight
On the ceiling at just the right angle, the way he likes it.
Allow him a home.
And for her to be braver than I.
I want her to look him in the eye,
and say with clarity, with vibrancy
Without hesitation,
Or fear of exploration,
– I know you,
– I love you, my only one.
Have her kiss his back, and the soft spots on his wrists.
The parts I have yet to kiss.
When she touches his neck,
With ease, he will settle into her.
May she delight in his humor,
Make her clever –
I know she will be so beautiful,
More beautiful than I. ”
…
She wistfully watches
As two birds dance and flirt in the sky
Above a building,
High over her head and thoughts.
She remembers him,
And the way they bumped into her car
While falling in love, and holding each other
Like teenagers do.
Paintings on the wall ask her,
“What do you want?”
“For him to think of me.
From time to time,
But not all the time.
When laying with his back on a rug
Or when that song comes on.”
Her love of him, it does not end
That’s not what this is
This is slow piano music played in the dark,
It’s the smell of a memory once loved but not forgotten
Slipping toes in sand,
The sensation of stars dripping from the night sky.
A first kiss, before sullied by time.
Or the way she felt with a new book when she was younger.
Hopeful and complete.
Eager to read on, a seemingly endless and fascinating tale.
Are You Ready? Winter Solstice, Full Moon & A Meteor Shower This Weekend!
I don’t know if you are as hippie as I am, or if you’ve been feeling this lately as well, but there is a freeing sensation in the air. An awakening. I’ve been lighter these past two days. The grief is present but it’s not aching, I have finally slept 3 nights in a row without nightmares and my heart is settled and planted firmly in my chest.
I was wondering what this was all about, because the last time I felt a shift of this magnitude was during the autumnal solstice. I did some quick Googling, (sidebar: I really don’t like using “Google” as a verb), only to find that this weekend is not only the winter solstice, but it’s also going to have a full moon and a meteor shower. I am vibrating with excitement!
During the autumnal solstice, I was not ready. I was unstable, anxious as all hell, missing my partner who was out on tour, and our wedding was like 8 days away and everything felt like it was falling to pieces. Fortunately, for this solstice, I am super ready.
I am ready to embrace this season of transformation. I have been in darkness for months, I have felt the pain, the loss, the depression, the shadows and I am learned. I have new discoveries in my heart and in this moment I feel prepared to self-reflect and free them into the powers of this moon and welcome the light to come.
The winter solstice is a time of major change. On the northern hemisphere, it’s the longest night all year. On the southern hemisphere it is the longest day. With such a sharp contrast, it reminds everyone that with darkness, light will come and with light, darkness will follow.
It’s not about longing for one, or being distressed with the other – it’s about accepting that both are present at all times. There is light and darkness in the world, in each of us, in all things – there is a sun and there is a place of no sun.
It’s about allowing these polarities to flow through us as the universe allows both the sun and moon to gravitate around Earth simultaneously.
Alongside this time of acceptance, we have our beautiful first winter solstice full moon since 2010, with the next one not returning until 2094. A special occasion to be witnessed.
To some, this moon is also called the Long Nights Moon, or the Cold Moon. With the power full moons bring, it really delivers the weight of introspection, heart-searching and renewal.
Full moons often remind us of our wisdom and our intuition and if you’re in a calm state of mind, you will receive some very positive influence during this winter moon. But, if you’re feeling a bit chaotic or disoriented, the full moon could increase your emotional state due to her powerful energy. Be gentle with yourselves and know it’s okay to be quiet.
With this beautiful combination of the wise full moon and the reflective winter solstice, I feel the urge to dive inside. I’m reminded of this time to hibernate, to recharge, to fatten up. I’ve been storing all of this darkness, and foraging for education in the experiences around me and now it’s time. It’s time to allow the cold moon to light up my inner silent voice.
With the end of the year being a phase of completion, I’m looking forward to honoring the light and dark inside myself. I plan to greet myself wholly as I am and becoming more fluid with my solar gravitational pull.
Now, if both of these weren’t incredible enough, the Ursid meteor shower will also be taking place Friday and Saturday nights. We’re expected to receive about 5-10 per hour, but some have said that in the country it’s possible to see upwards of 100 in a burst.
The showers can be seen between the big and litter dippers – Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, from which the shower was named. The showers will start around 1:00am in the north-northeastern sky. But with the full moon in bloom, the viewing might be affected from the harsh glare. The pre-dawn hours are usually the most favorable for viewing.
It’s a time to delight in! It’s a season of mistletoe, cinnamon, nutmeg, deep reds and lush greens, pine cones and wood. It’s rich and earthly everywhere and the warmth of the people are all around. If you are in the darkness, hibernate and listen deeply while the sage moon guides you into welcoming the light. If you are already feeling the sun rotating your way, open your home and heart for it is a time of generosity.
Veneration
Have you ever lived in a dream?
“I’m in one right now,” whispered the little blackbird.
My song is the most beloved,
And I like it best after a rain.
Usually I sleep at night, but not now,
Tonight, there is a beautiful refrain.
Just Words
Just Words
I will spend my lifetime searching,
Wandering the pathways,
Pacing through the corridors.
I have already hiked down an Austrian mountain
And yet, I haven’t found them.
I drove across the country from a small town farm in Michigan
Sleeping in my car for days
Winking at the moon and blowing kisses to the stars.
I once saw a baby greet a Christmas light with the tip of her tiny nose
And yet, they still allude me.
Sunsets have poured over hills and valleys,
I have heard lonely trains ring out in the night.
I flew in a helicopter with a glass floor and marveled at the grass below.
But where are they?
“Longing” sounds too friendless.
“Wanting” sings of desperation.
Those are not the right ones.
I’m searching for something sweet.
A seeker, traveler, an old nomadic people,
A people who make love everywhere except a bed.
We are out there and we are adventuring.
All in the hopes of finding them.
“Adore” feels commonplace
“Rapture” has an aftertaste of leaving
“Treasure” is not rare enough.
Yet, I have not grown tired,
Nourishment and apostles lead the way.
My footsteps are one of many, but they are of my own.
With every mile and exhale of relief, I hear your names.
Painters are drinking sangria in Madrid,
Musicians are caught flirting with their eyes
All the while, I am sleeping just to dream about you.
In South Africa, a baby black rhinoceros coos for her mother’s milk,
And bright blue nameless birds fly over a harsh and tanned grassland.
The clever wind knows where to take me, another nameless bird.
Like the soft and marbled clouds, I float and watch and wonder.
“True” inching closer…
“Providence” there is wisdom, but there is no pulse.
What language do the God’s speak?
Have they found them yet? Or were they the first and forever hopeful mercenaries?
Will I always be too human to hear them?
Children and babies have slept in my arms
And so did you, once.
In my love for you, in my pursuit of you,
Oh my dear,
I will one day find the…